i was driving to the store the other evening to pick up some stuff for henry's class valentine's party and i found myself in the quiet of the car. well not silent because the cd player was going but at least for a change of pace it was my cd instead of laurie berkner or mickey mouse. i can't even tell you what song was playing but the sun was setting in beautiful shades of orange, red and purple and i found myself longing to be in the presence of Christ. not my usual way of spending time with Him...you know in between diaper changes or washing dishes. i was longing to do nothing but be still and know that He is God. have you ever been there? i find that in the chaos of my everyday i have little chance to be still before Him. i know that spending time with Christ is necessary for me but many times i have to just hold on to the hem of His robe. three little kids under 6 and one on the way is a busy busy world- fun, exciting, challenging, hard, tiresome and a delight but it pales in comparison to having uninterrupted time alone with Him.
example: the other day i had the treat of hanging out with only henry. i was blessed to do this for the first 2 and 3/4 years of his life but it can be hard to carve out individual time with each little one. there are so many dimensions to his little self for me to learn and know and enjoy that it is absolutely necessary for me to just be with him or with daphne or with anna on a regular basis.
all that being said, i have missed spending time with my God. i am in need. i don't have "things" figured out even though i try to. stages of life bring with them different schedules and i am so thankful that God has given me a full time ministry to my husband and children and so i think it is here that i must delight myself in Him. time with Him is more valuable than sleep, than reading other's blogs, than anything i can come up with that fill my day. i am challenging myself to be still and know Him more each day. i need that, my husband needs that and my children need that.
i confess that all too often i try to "do life" in my own strength admittedly because i don't want to "bother" Him with my petty details. He wants my all not on occasion but daily. i forget that He cares about the details of my heart and life. i have seen Him display Himself over and over in the little things and yet i forget. if we are honest with ourselves there is no way any of us can stand back and look at our lives and say, "i can do this"..."i don't need help". i would be kidding myself and so would you. God is so good to me. i am so not faithful to my friendship with Him. me= bad friend but He is always good. you may think life has dealt you some tough cards along the way, heck i could say that for myself but you know what i can say i am rejoicing today because of who He is in my life. i think there is some song that says, "life is hard but God is good." exactly!
Lord, let me not forget Your desire for me to know You in all things of my crazy mom life. forgive me for forgetting that what i do day in and day out is important to You. You know my coming in and my going out and You care how i go about it all. forgive me for not making time to be quiet in your presence without interruption. faithful friend, thank you for knowing right where i am in life and for never leaving or forsaking me.