Christmas Time

Sunday, June 29, 2008

good day...

what a day! when ross and i walked in the nicu to see ramey today we were so surprised. the nurse was sitting in a rocking chair holding her with a bottle in her mouth and the big bed was gone. trying not to run down the pod we got to her as fast as we could and saw that she not only was no longer on CPAP but did not even have the nasal cannula. she is breathing room air all on her own!!

she took half of her feedings by bottle and tomorrow i will spend most of the day with her trying to nurse. please pray that ramey will take to nursing easily. her dr. actually made mention of 4 days or so and then maybe we'd be bringing her home. we shall see. i'll let you know how tomorrow goes.

thanks for the continued prayers and support!!

Friday, June 27, 2008

two steps forward one step back...

today was not as great as yesterday for miss ramey.

when i got to the hospital this morning ramey was still having a high respiratory rate. the nurse let me hold her as we waited for rounds but she did tell me that ramey's latest blood gas was not good. during rounds they talked about what they felt was going on with ramey and basically they felt she just needed some help "popping open" her alveoli (grape like structure in the lungs). the plan was made and once rounds were over they put ramey on CPAP. CPAP is a machine that forces air into her lungs helping her to get that oxygen down to where it needs to be. around 12:30, right before i left, the latest blood gas came back and indicated she was getting what she needs.around 3 ross called to check in on ramey and the nurse shared that her respiratory rate had not gotten better yet and so a chest xray had been done. a portion of ramey's right lung did in fact collapse and so they put her on her belly and used a vibrating machine placed on her back to help open up the lung.

she is doing a little better this evening but please pray that her lungs would function properly on their own. it is so hard to watch her struggle to breathe. there is nothing i can do to make it easier.

my heart hurts tonight as i think of the struggles of the last two weeks. my heart hurts because it is torn between home and the hospital. pray for me as i try to care for all of my babies.


Thursday, June 26, 2008

she has no tubes...

we just got home from the hospital and ramey is no longer on the ventilator!! she handled the weaning of nitric well this afternoon and so she is now on a nasal cannula and learning to use her chest muscles on her own. they were able to get that pic line into her foot so they took out the remaining lines in her bellybutton.

with the vent out we heard her first whimper. she can't cry much yet because her throat is still swollen and irritated from the tubes. her lungs are still wet as we have mentioned before so pray that God would dry them out. she is feeding better and her belly is doing better at digesting so this is good.

when we got there tonight ross got his chance to hold her. she did fine for a while but before i could hold her she started struggling to breathe so she had to go back to her bed and settle down. i did get to feed her and change a poopy diaper so that was nice.

though she is doing really well she is still not ready to come home. in fact she has a ways to go from what i can tell. she does not like to swallow. she would much rather have someone come suction her mouth out (does that = high maintenance?). she has to master this reflex in order to nurse and then she can try to feed and then maybe we can talk about home. i am actually okay with the time it is taking mainly because i am scared to bring her home and something go wrong. i want her to be fully ready to be home before we bring her. pray i would remember this as the days go by and we wait to bring her home.

it was a great time with her tonight and ross and i enjoyed just being able to go to the hospital together. continue to pray with us for her complete restoration. thanks for coming on this journey with us. we love you all! goodnight.


if you read this before 2pm pacific time or 4 pm central be praying for ramey. at noon pst she came off the nitric oxide and at 2pm the dr. will be checking her blood gases. if the blood gases look good at 2pm then they will extubate her this afternoon!! pray that she responds well to coming off the nitric and the vent- God willing!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

13 days of waiting...

13 days ago ramey joined us and yet i have not held her in my arms. i get as close as i possibly can and kiss her head then i linger taking in all her smells and the feel of her forehead on my lips. i can't seem to get close enough.

today i went to the hospital to spend the morning with her. after being there a little while ramey woke up and so i was able to look into her eyes for a good long while...probably the longest amount of time to date. while i was looking at her i asked her dr. who had come over to say hello what had to come out before i could hold her. she looked at everything and said, "you should be able to hold her now. i'll make sure with the nurse." 10 minutes later i was sitting in a rocking chair holding my baby girl for the first time. it took the nurse and a respiratory therapist to get her into my lap with all her tubes but i didn't care one bit. ramey was pretty agitated when they moved her but once everyone left her tubes alone she settled right in and i held her for about an hour and half. i could have stayed there all day long. she is so beautiful. of course i didn't bring my camera...i am going to just leave it in my purse from here on out. i will get a picture tomorrow!

all of the extra fluids have finally gone so she is actually below her birth weight. she had plumped up to just shy of 9lbs 3 days ago but now she is at 7lbs 8 1/2 oz.

she has had a good couple of days in terms of the weening of the vent and nitric. she still needs to get the digesting of food down. she does well most of the time but then she'll have a feeding where she didn't digest even half of her feeding. pray that her tummy would work the way it should!

i can't remember if i shared with you all or not but the little baby who was on ECMO in the room next to ramey has come off of ECMO- PRAISE GOD!!! she is in the regular nicu around the corner from ramey and she is doing very well. pray for her parents. her daddy, eduardo, said to ross that it is all so hard to understand (they do not speak much english). this is a scary place to be when you understand the language everyone is speaking and so i cannot imagine the fear that could so easily grip those who do not speak english.

what a day! 13 days i have waited to hold ramey and today i did! i can't wait to hold her more and more.

thank you Jesus for your continued healing in my baby girl's life. thank you for showing yourself in a "yes" to our prayers for healing. thank you for breathing new life into ramey. thank you for giving me hands to hold her today!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

friday, saturday, sunday...

friday ross and i celebrated 10 years of marriage! 10 years ago neither of us could have fathomed the road that lay ahead of us. great joys and great sorrows, easy days and hard ones, plenty and get the picture. i love this man and would not want to have anyone else by my side than him.

for our anniversary we went to a restaurant called zinburger. it was great and we would totally recommend it to any of you here in town. during the summer between 5 & 7 all wine is half off by the glass or by the bottle. it had a great casual atmosphere and fantastic zucchini fries!

friday was a great day for us. we were able to go spend the morning with ramey and hear what awesome progress she is making. we met with a geneticist who was nerdy giddy with excitement about us. evidently there are no known reports of families who have two children with pulmonary hypertension and the other complications that both ramey and henry have had. next week a specific gene will be tested in relation to the adult gene for pulmonary hypertension. if there is a link then henry will need to be tested too. ross and i most likely carry some recessive gene that probably has effected the kids. all i know is that my God is bigger than genetics!

after lunch we went back to the house and picked up henry to take him to meet his newest baby sister. what a precious time it was to see him with her. he was pretty nervous at first- ramey is at the end of a pretty long bay that has many babies and many tubes. once by her bedside he asked us what we do when we are with her. i told him that we talk to her, to each other, pray and even sing. he immediately reached for my hand and then he said, "let's pray right now."

after a busy friday i realized that i totally over did it. saturday was a nice slower pace. our friend tonya came over and stayed with the kids for several hours and we were able to go back up to be with ramey. while we were there she was waking up from the paralytic that they turned off. she was moving her hands and her feet. when we would look at her face she would try lifting her eyebrows to open her eyes. it was so cute!

after coming back up from lunch i looked down at my girl and there they were, her open eyes. she was looking around a little. ross and i took turns talking to her and staring into those precious little eyes. her blood pressure (not a bad thing) would go up as we would talk to her. i didn't want to go home!

today, sunday, her eyes were open even more! she is doing so well. she is still coming off of her meds and ventilators. our guess is that she may come home in the next 2 weeks if not a little sooner. i am looking forward to holding her again. i just want to lay her head on my chest and smell her hair for as long as i want to.

here are some specific prayer requests for us-
1. pray that the nurse practioner would be able to get a new arterial line into her arm tonight. it didn't work earlier and so they will try again here soon and try for her arm again or her leg.
2. pray that ramey would continue to heal and respond well to the weening process that the dr. has her on.
3. pray that my body would make drastic improvements on the healing front as well. i am having some chest congestion that is hard to cough up with all my other pain.
4. pray for ross as he returns to work tomorrow morning- he would prefer to stay home till ramey gets home but that just isn't possible.

answered prayer-
1. the swelling in ramey's left leg is drastically better. the ultrasound did not show a blood clot so it seems to be dependant edema and it is resolving.

here is a picture of ramey from her one week birthday. enjoy!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


tonight as i type i want you to know that i am typing from my own bed under my own covers. how good it is to be home!

i think i told you all yesterday that the ICU dr. told me if my hemoglobin levels were 7 or above this morning then he would let me go home. last night after my sweet friend, allison came for a visit i could not go to sleep. i tried laying in bed (the most annoying bed ever- it often sounded like a helicopter about to take off), i tried counting backwards from 534 (something i do when i am still awake at night), i walked the floor with my nurse 4 or 5 times. i sat in the chair and read all the NICU literature given to us by the hospital and then finally i realized that i was anxious about the blood test results. i was so scared that i was not going to get to leave and go see ramey. the nurse came in at 2:30am to draw blood and then i was able to close my eyes and just spend time talking with the Lord about all that had been going on and my anxiety. i finally fell asleep around 3 or so. i was wide awake at 6 asking the nurse for the results. praise God i was at 7.6. by 10a.m. we were out the door and headed over to be with my precious new daughter. i was so thankful to see her again. i held her hand i touched her tummy. i kissed her.

somewhere in me i thought i would be okay seeing her like that since henry had been through all this same stuff but i wasn't. it broke my heart to see my baby laying there hooked up to so many things and not moving. i guess you can never prepare yourself for anything of such magnitude.

the baby next to ramey is on ECMO and as we waited outside ramey's room i would look over to this baby and see her dark hair poking out from under all the tubes and my heart broke for her and her family. i just wanted to go over and kiss her little head just the way i was waiting to kiss my own daughter's. these baby's are in need of the very breath of God to flow through their tiny bodies. each time i have been with ramey (today being the third time) i have prayed for God to breathe new life into her and so i ask you to pray this for her and also for the baby girl next to her.

as for me- i am feeling okay. very tired, still in pain and still looking forward to the day when i can walk at a normal pace again. i had a fantastic nap when i got home today and then i was able to just sit with my three other babies and love on them. to hold them was precious to me. my daphne kept telling me she missed me and then asked if she was allowed to touch me or did the dr. tell me not to. anna came running and crawled in my lap and i held her close- she looked so grown up. my henry came over, wrapped his arms around me and cried. it is so good to be home!

thank you all for your continued love, support and prayers for our family. it is He alone who has sustained us and i stand back knowing the love i have for ramey and cannot fathom the depth of God's love for me in His giving of His son, Jesus. what love He poured out for His children. please continue to join us as we seek His mercy for our little girl.

we love you all.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

my turn...

it is me doing some updating today. what a whirlwind the last six days have been.

this morning i had the sweet blessing of spending some much needed alone time with my precious husband. there is no man in this world who i love more than him. he has been my caregiver, my protector, my defender, my advocate, my friend and so much more. i look at him and i see God's handiwork displayed in a man who has the heart the size of the ocean and i am able to call him mine.

i am feeling much better today. today was a huge turning point for me. i woke up around 6 feeling like i was ready to walk the floor and make some progress in all my recovery. yesterday i was still so loopy from the anesthesia that i rested much of the day. today...i walked the floor 3 times, i had two more units of blood, i had a drainage tube removed, i sat in the chair much of the morning, i pumped, i pottied, i found out that if my hemoglobin levels are 7 or higher that i might actually go home tomorrow. all in all it was a really good day.

ramey had a good day too. ross is better at giving her updates being that he is with her but she was requiring less oxygen and they did a lot or weaning of her levels. good news for her too! i am hopeful that i will be released and able to go see her tomorrow.

my friend recommended that i put specific prayer requests right here to help all of you know what exactly to pray.
1. pray obviously for both ramey and my complete healing
2. pray that ramey would have no residual damage from her time on the vent and other meds
3. pray that i would be able to be relieved of bladder discomfort
4. pray for henry who is having a hard time because he misses me and his daddy and wants to see his baby sister
5. pray for daphne who is having a hard time with her feelings
6. pray for anna who probably has no idea what is going on but knows that things aren't quite right
7. pray for ross, who is caring the weight of his whole family on his shoulders- pray for rest and that he does not get sick.

i know that is a lot but this is where we are as a family. all of you have been so good to us and we are more than thankful for the ways that you have loved on us through everything!! we love you all.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Update - Monday

Hi all, Ross again. Last night Ramey did amazingly well. They're quick to tell me that she's still not out of the woods, but they are pleased that she's responding well. After about 30 minutes of sleep last night, I got a call from Linda, who was staying with Mandy. She told me to come to St Josephs quickly because Mandy was in the ICU and was about to go into emergency surgery. She was in surgery about 3 1/2 hours and her doctor, when finished, came out to tell me that Mandy had a blood clot consisting of 2 liters of blood in her bladder. (Think about a 2-Liter of Coke in your bladder) It was so big that there was no way they could get it out, so in surgery, the doctor cut it into little pieces and removed it one piece at a time. She is much better and they're even hoping to get Mandy up and walking this afternoon. So we had another scare and another miracle...

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Update - Sunday

Hi everyone, Ross still here. Sorry it's been a few days since the last post - quite a bit has been going on. Friday, Ramey started doing poorly. She was breathing really quickly (note my previous posts) and her oxygen saturation dropped from 100% down to 60%. The doctor put her on 100% oxygen to see if that would bring it back up, and it didn't, so they called in a transport to UMC hospital here in Tucson. UMC's NICU is designed to handle the sicker babies, and so I packed up my things and followed Ramey to the new hospital. Friday night, in the NICU at UMC, she still wasn't doing well. They had her on a new medication, Nitric Oxide, which is supposed to stimulate the blood vessels in Ramey's lungs to receive oxygen and convert it into her blood better. Let me say that the NICU consisted of a small room with 8 beds for babies, and about 30 doctors, nurses, etc scurrying about. They all knew what they were doing, but for me, it was total chaos and I was completely over-stimulated. All I seemed to be doing was moving out of the path of whichever healthcare professional that was making a bee-line to whichever baby who needed their care. So, after a little while the doctor taking care of Ramey told me that she wasn't doing well and she recommended putting Ramey onto ECMO (a heart-lung bypass that takes out the baby's blood, takes out impurities, oxygenates it, and puts it back into the body. This effectively gives the lungs a break in order to heal). For those of you who don't know us all that well, our 6 year-old, Henry, was in the same situation at birth, but the Nitric Oxide that Ramey's now on aided in turning Henry around and God used it to heal him before they put him on ECMO. Up in the NICU, her doctor told me that Ramey had about a 10% chance of survival Friday night on the current path they were taking, and she felt that Ramey would have a 50% chance of survival on ECMO. I agreed, and they moved Ramey down to the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care) because they don't administer ECMO up in the NICU. So they got all of Ramey's machinery (four free-standing, rolling towers that are all attached to her in some form or fashion), her bed, and all her doctors, nurses, etc and made the slow trek to the elevator to take us down to the PICU floor. Walking behind all this, it looked like the circus was coming to town. In all the chaos and uncertainty, I was able to muster a smile imagining a circus train (like on Dumbo) transporting my sick baby to another department. So we arrived to the PICU, and Ramey was given a private room and the surgeons prepped both Ramey and her room for the surgery to implant tubes into her main artery and vein in her neck in order to take the blood from her little body, clean it, and return it to her. She was draped for the surgery and it was go-time when someone had the notion to check her blood gases to see how she was doing. They got the results, had a discussion, and the doctor came over to me and told me that all of Ramey's stats were back to normal and that they were going to hold off putting her on ECMO to see what's going on. Several blood gas tests later, there was a celebration, and they sent the ECMO team home because the results were better each time they tested them. So that was Friday night. God spared my little girl from having to do the heart-lung bypass. Instead of ECMO, she's on a ventilator and nitric oxide to hopefully heal her lungs and get her better. Yesterday and today, she's maintaining the proper levels of oxygen saturation and all the other things they're looking for. I've noticed that the doctors here are part mad scientists - if a reading is off in one direction or another, they'll tinker with drugs, pressures, etc to re-attain the desired level. So they're doing a tremendous job of keeping her stable and in the optimal state for healing her lungs. So I praise the Lord for bringing her here and bringing her all the way from a 10% chance of survival to where she is now. She's not out of the woods yet, but I'd like to think she's seeing sunlight between the branches on her way to the forest’s edge. Since Thursday, I'd slept about 6 hours total, and last night, I was able to sleep a bit more, so I'm feeling better today. (The reason why I hadn't blogged since Thursday night)

Which brings us to the topic of my beautiful bride. Friday, when Ramey was doing poorly at the previous hospital (Where Mandy still resides), they discharged Mandy from the ICU so that she could say Hi and Bye to Ramey. Keep in mind that she held Ramey for a few seconds in the operating room and had no further contact until this point. Being that she was in a wheelchair, she was somewhat limited in her contact with Ramey, but she was able to say "Bye" in person as they transported her to UMC. The doctors are thinking now that this premature exit from the ICU perhaps caused some complications in Mandy because after this point, Mandy had excruciating pain for the next two days. Yesterday, they performed a CT on Mandy and determined that she has blood clots in her bladder. In a marathon 4-hour procedure, they irrigated the clots out of her bladder (Saturday night), and so far today (Sunday), Mandy told me the clots are back and they're going to have to irrigate again. So please be praying for Mandy because this is very painful for her. It's even more painful that she's across town from her baby and we don't know when she'll be well enough to leave the hospital. So there you have it. In the past three days, both Mandy and Ramey have faced death and God has spared them both. I praise Him for that! Again, let me reiterate that both of them are still in bad shape and anything could happen, but right now, both are healing and I'm thankful for that. I'm going to try not to worry about tomorrow, but instead I'll choose to enjoy today.

I am truly amazed by the two miracles I have witnessed in person in both Mandy and Ramey. Mandy's amazing OB told us that she's never seen anything like what she experienced in the operating room, and that she's never given as much blood as she gave to Mandy to any of her other patients before. Besides all that, she (her OB) told us that from what she saw inside Mandy, she realized that if Mandy had gone into labor at home, both she and Ramey would have died. When they were about to transport Ramey, I turned to Mandy and said, "I just wish that God would show up." Mandy corrected me - in middle of all her pain, and said, "God's been here the whole time." I didn't even realize all of the things He had done up to that point to keep Mandy and Ramey alive. Now as I look back, I see God in all the events that have occurred and am a bit ashamed that I even questioned His presence. Anyway, I just want to encourage all of you to stop and look around when you feel like God's on vacation. This has been quite a roller-coaster ride, and I just wanted to bring you all along with us on this ride, because it's not over yet. Please pray for us, our doctors, nurses, etc. Please also pray for all the people who are helping us with meals, babysitting, visiting us, transporting things for us, etc. We are truly thankful for everything.

That's it for now!

Take care,

Friday, June 13, 2008

More Pics

Under the Oxygen hood

Closeup under the Oxygen hood

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Ramey Caroline

Hey guys, this is still Ross. Mandy mentioned that she would like to blog this evening, but she has since fallen asleep and so that I don't keep all of you waiting, I'll publish some photos.

First off, both girls are doing better. Mandy was awake for two hours this evening and we had some friends come by to see her, so that was fun. Her doctor came by and showed Mandy some photos she took of Mandy's innards. The whole thing was quite a miracle. She said that if Mandy had gone into labor at home, more than likely both Mandy and Ramey would have died. God took good care of my girls. I'm hoping that tomorrow they'll let Mandy leave the ICU and go to her room in the women's center.

Ramey's doing well, too. She's still in the NICU and they've got this oxygen box around her head pumping in 100% oxygen in order to keep her lungs from over-working. Her lungs are still classified as "wet" but still no signs of anything worse. She still has some air in her stomach, but other than that, she's doing well. The thing that makes me nervous is her fast breathing - they say that's due to her "wet" lungs.

Tonight, I'm getting kicked out of the ICU at 8:30 and will then head on over to the NICU to spend the rest of the night with Ramey. They've got a leather recliner that I'll be planting my posterior into and settling in for the evening. Speaking of Ramey, here are some pictures:

Oh, the drama!

Cutie Pie

Mandy's Doctor has a sense of humor - she and Ramey were playing peek-a-boo over the curtain

"I want my daddy!"

Here's a picture I took a few minutes ago. Being that Mandy's asleep, she was unable to approve or deny the picture for the blog, so here it is. I might get in trouble for it, but I want all of you to see my tough, beautiful wife. Note also the IV in her jugular. Gives me the creeps.

Have a good evening - Mandy will probably resume her blogging tomorrow. Thanks for all your prayers!!

Please Pray!

Hi everyone, Ross here. I'm sitting in Mandy's ICU room typing this as she sleeps. I'm sure that Mandy will fill you in on the details later, but I wanted to tell you all that this morning, Ramey Caroline was born - 7 pounds 9 ounces and 19 inches long. She's beautiful and I'll post photos as soon as I can. Here's the short version of what's happened today: After Ramey was born, I kissed Mandy and left to go to the nursery with the baby. After watching all the typical newborn tests, I left to go find out how Mandy was. The nurses outside the OR told me that she was not doing well and that they were going to transfer her to the ICU. So I made a few phone calls, told my parents - who were in the waiting room, and came back to the OR to be told that Mandy had been moved to the ICU. I made the walk across the hospital to the ICU to be told that Mandy was still in the OR, so I had to wait in the waiting room of the ICU until they brought her there. Once they brought me back to her room, I found out that Mandy had lost a lot of blood during the surgery (about 1/2 of her body's supply) and her anesthesiologist told me that her blood pressure was so low at one point that they had gotten the "crash cart" and he was about to start chest compressions. However, instead of having to do this, the drugs they gave her (and the five units of blood) brought her blood pressure back up. I think she'll remain in the ICU under constant supervision until they feel she can go back to a room at the women's center - possibly tomorrow. She's been sleeping much of the day so far, but I was able to show her pictures of Ramey during a short time of being awake.

Ramey also has been sent to the NICU. She swallowed blood during the surgery and her lungs were still "wet" from the amniotic fluid, so she was breathing really fast, and they sent her to the NICU for closer supervision. I just called over there and they've performed a chest x-ray and they said that along with the "wet" lungs, she also has air in her tummy that she will end up passing...She's on oxygen and I'm going to go see her when I'm done with this post. All in all, my girls are well and are being taken care of.

I was able to call and tell Henry that he has another baby sister. His reply was, "Oh, nooooo!" I can just imagine him slapping his forehead as he said this. Our friend, Allison, who was watching him at the time told me that he had a giant smile as I told him. He's a big brother to THREE sisters! Wow.

Check back this evening, I'll update this again then.


Tuesday, June 10, 2008

self discovery...

it is always good to learn something about one's self. today i have gained greater insight into who i am...or maybe who i am not.

i was not created to be an art teacher. there is nothing about me that would want to be an art teacher. that is not to say that i do not love art or wouldn't enjoy an art class for myself. what i am simply saying is that the control freak in me cannot do paint with a 6 and a 3 year old and remain sane.

a sweet friend of mine gave the kids some really cool paint rollers and brushes with some paints. the whole deal sounds cool because you mix the paint with dish soap, paint on the window and then it comes off easily. okay so i told the kids we would do this today after henry came home from sports camp while anna was sleeping. so i mixed the paint and soap, opened up the paint brushes, gave them the rules of what could and could not be painted and off they went.

it didn't take me long to realize that this was going to be an extreme mess. it took all i had in me not to lose it with said mess. i had to ask for their forgiveness for getting a little fussy with them and then i had to just take pictures and tell myself that these moments make memories no matter how messy.

something else i learned during this "art" time is that you should not take on such venturous projects two days before giving birth. thursday morning #4 will arrive!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

life is a roller coaster...

i am not real sure what happened to me this morning but i must say that i felt overwhelmed. maybe because i didn't sleep well or maybe because of hormones- who knows. today was daphne's tech rehearsal for her dance recital. let me just say that i was NEVER a dancer of any kind growing up and especially not the beautiful ballerina type. i am responsible for turning my very playful, often dirty, little 3 yr. old into a beautiful ballerina- not just one time for the recital but three times- the week before we add to our chaos. can we say ahhhh?????

today i am very gently trying to shellack my tender-headed little girl's hair to her head in a bun and get her dressed to some extent before our friend and her daughter come to pick us up (since i shouldn't be driving all over the place). needless to say i was late (thanks jen for being so patient with me). then a block or two from my house i realize i had forgotten daph's ballet shoes. we turned around went back picked them up and got back to driving. we were suppose to be there 20 minutes early but i set us back a good ten not to mention we had to hike across the campus with me huge and slow and then two little girls whose feet were going probably about as fast as they could.

once in the auditorium i had to get daph out of the travel leotard and into her costume, put on fluffy arm bands, wrap sequin thingies around her neck and shellacked bun, add blush and lipstick and get those darn ballet shoes on. she looked beautiful but i was on the verge of breaking down into massive amounts of tears.

the girls looked great, performed about like you would expect 3 yr. olds to on a huge stage and i was able to breathe. ross even came to watch- when he asked me if i was okay i had to work hard to hold myself together. he made me laugh when we stood there photographing and videotaping of the scene in the movie parenthood about life being a roller coaster. life is and i want to enjoy it more!

here is our daphne doing her thing and looking so adorable.